Category: Events@Hughenden

Hills Ladies Hit a Ton

Hillhead Jordanhill Women 1st XV 115 — 0 Cartha QP Women 1st XV

On a wonderful early autumnal evening under the Hughenden floodlights, the Hilljills showcased their full range of running and handling skills to blow away their plucky south side rivals.

For the record, the Hilljills were fifty-five points up at halftime. If there had been a scoreboard operator, she would have been sorely fatigued by the end of the proceedings.

In these situations it can be invidious to pick out individuals in what was a fine team performance, but the twinkling feet of Hilljills’ centres, Hannah Smith and Abi Evans, generated some twelve tries.

The McMillan sisters, Siobhan with her direct running and captain Louise with her sheer athleticism, also caught the eye.

Abi Evans stretches for the line.

Unfortunately, scrum-half, Mairi McDonald, caught something else, a flying elbow, which flattened the “Mighty Atom” and led to the Cartha transgressor being red carded.

Mention also should be made of the goal kicking skills of Mairi McDonald and Ally Cook, who between them converted ten of the nineteen tries.

After this try fest, Hilljills play again on Friday 8th September at 20:00 against visitors Stewartry Sirens from Castle Douglas.

Team: S. McMillan, L. Smith, H. Lockhart, G. Keys, J. Johnston, H. Telling, K. McConnell, L. McMillan, M. McDonald, S. Smith, A. Evans, L. Willis, A. Jane, D. Falconer, F. Wood, S. Kyalinkunda, A. Cook, L. Mils

Words by Bernie Mitchell and photos by David Whyte

Breakfast with the Lions

The Hills and Cafe Source Too invite you to Hughenden for the 3 test matches against the All Blacks:

Saturday 24th June
Saturday 1st July
Saturday 8th July

Enjoy a full Scottish breakfast with a fresh orange juice, toast, tea/coffee while watch the game in the Sports Bar.
Breakfasts are £10pp and must be booked at Cafe Source Too in person or by email, before close of business on the Thursdays prior to games.

Any question, please refer to Bernie

Hills Annual Player Awards Dinner

The Prizewinners and All the Chat

This eagerly awaited event at the end of the 2016/2017 season was characterised  by the usual mixture of the sublime  and the ridiculous, the details of which will unfold rapidly for those anxious enough to feast on all the gossip.   After all  as someone very famous once said .. “ we all hate to spread gossip but what else can we really do with it… “

It is important at the outset to note that the ladies present, some twenty number, had determined to make an impression such was their combined excellence in dress, (very occasional) décolletage and (initially) demeanour.   The men by comparison presented  as mostly dour and uninspiring in their dress sense with, however, some notable exceptions. Martin Malone wore his kilt but there were no  substantiated reports at the time of going to print  if there was anything worn under the kilt; Calum Forrester ,a guest of Dean Kelbrick’s, clearly thought he was attending a dinner in some upmarket gaff being attired in his “DJ” with bow tie, while Messers Scott (snr) and Legendre were resplendent in their “Hills” waistcoats. This was then one of those occasions when the Ladies came out on top of the men!!

The meal was up to the usual high Café Source Too standard, but a surprise awaited the ladies’ when the dessert, a wonderful caramel (?) cheesecake, was served them by one of the “Chippendales” (aka Ryan Williamson). This appearance provided a fertile ground for all the usual wisecracks about apparatus and equipment. The bold Williamson did, however, suffer some damage to his ego, if not his manhood, by being advised by the Ladies spokesperson, Kirsty McConnell, an alleged connoisseur of matters to do with “tackle”, that he was very much “size inappropriate”. To keep spirits up during the first comfort break prior to the speeches, Abi Evans reinforced her image as an outstanding  athlete by doing “chin ups”  and swinging from one of the roof beams. Those familiar with the works of the eminent zoologist, Desmond Morris, will recognise these behavioural traits.

Then it was onto the speeches. Stuart Irvine who, admittedly on the flimsy evidence of only one speech, is recommended not to rush to  give up his day job spoke for the men. He did provide one good line for the discerning among the diners with his remark about James  Reekie always running “hard lines“. “Waldorf and Statler” really enjoyed that one, thinking aloud it was indeed “hardlines” that they had attended, but Stuart was applauded for his efforts; never easy to be a prophet in your own country. Georgie Keys, “A lady in red” for the evening, was all Transatlantic sorority and engaging with the girls in the team. It was generally agreed that the decision not to have bread rolls at the meal  had contributed to an improved feeling of health and safety for the speakers and their general wellbeing. There was regrettably, however, the occasional missile, either a napkin doused in lager or a slice of lemon, but the collateral damage was limited.

The awards proved as popular as ever, with the presenters having their differing styles of delivery. Loïs Legendre with his usual Gallic flair and Stuart “The Speaker” Irvine presided over the awards for the 2A and the 2nd XV’s.  European football has its “golden Boot“ award for their top player, and Loïs’s answer to that fashion statement is a rugby boot presented as a phallic symbol, “mounted” on an impressively polished plinth. Matt Rea (most improved player) and Ben Chaddock (player of the year) captured the 2A’s prizes; and Matt Murray (most improved player) and David Webster (player of the year) garnered the votes  for the 2nd XV. Chairman Andy Scott (Snr) who performed well under duress all night, distributed the 1st XV awards to Jamie Maddox (most improved player), Owen Gemmell (player of the year) and Rory Harte, (Players’ player  of the year). The latter, known affectionately as “Golden balls“ to some present, seemed rather off colour and became more overwhelmed by the occasion as the evening wore on. Perhaps he became dizzy as a result of the greatness imposed upon his callow shoulders? Bringing up the rear of the “Oscars” was Ladies coach Dean Kelbrick who dazzled the audience with a welter of statistics about the Ladies performance over the season: games won; points scored; tries scored;  record numbers of girls/ladies with representative honours, it flowed. The awards for the Ladies went to Aimee Watson (Most improved), Hannah Smith (Players’ player) and Hannah Telling (Player of the year). Winding up, Dean thanked  Graeme Blackhall for his help and then delivered the best line of the night, perhaps a Freudian slip, when he asked Mairi McDonald to thank Fergus Matheson (absent for the evening) for his help.  No-one present  doubted  that would not take place.  Finally the demure and sober Louise MacMillan, captain of the ladies 1st XV, made presentations to Messers Kelbrick and Blackhall on their retirals as coaches to the ladies.

It was unfortunate that the formal part of the evening then concluded rather too swiftly without any vote of thanks to the Dinner Convener, Douglas Grove, who had worked tirelessly to deliver the evening and the “Hills” President, Andrew Scott (snr) for his seamless performance  in continuity announcing. But by then the youth had evacuated to boogy on the dance floor and Rory Harte  was ready for the knackers’ yard.

PS: The usual process of contacting A and E departments on the morning after the night before to check on diners’ welfare was severely hampered by lack of communications due to the malware problems afflicting the NHS. A chance visit however to HQ this morning revealed at least two pairs  of high heels had been left in the function room. Ladies being swept off their feet!!

Bernie “The Bunnett’ Mitchell

Hills 2XV Just Do Enough to Overcome

Hills 2XV 13 – 8 Glasgow Accies 2XV

This 2nd XV derby match under the Hughenden lights attracted a goodish crowd on a cold evening to watch a game which was fast and furious : both sides played at a high tempo and both were equally furious with the match referee. But despite the whistle bashing, the entertainment was good, and, in truth, the match could have gone either way, as both sides were fairly evenly matched.

Hills scrummaged well with Struan Maidment on the loose head impressive throughout and the back row of Jamie McLaren, Josh Douglas and Alex Armstrong was devastating in the broken play. But Accies moved the ball more fluently and were always dangerous when opening out.

Hills took an early three point lead through a penalty goal struck by veteran stand off, David Paterson, but the visitors soon equalised and thereafter the game stagnated into a midfield arm wrestle with neither side able to seize any opportunity. A stray kick out off defence, very well fielded by Matt Murray led directly to the host opening score. The ball was moved quickly to Euan Harrington who drew the Accies defence well to put David Vallance clear on the left wing to finish expertly. The half time score, 8-3, was just about right.

Hills now had the benefit of the wind, but it was Accies who stormed back into the match and, after a series of close range drives, scored well to the left of the posts, but the conversion was missed. This reverse galvanised the home team, who used the wind through the towering kicks of Euan Harrington to gain ground in the visitors half. The Accies defence held out well, until the bulk of Jonny “Captain Pugwash” Urquhart proved unstoppable from five metres out. That took the Hills one score ahead. Until the final whistle both sides had chances, but the level of handling on either side could not cope with the defensive pressures and Hills ran out eventual winners.

Hills 2nd XV coach, Stuart Irvine, noted : “I’m really proud how the team dug in to win, they weren’t afraid to get stuck in and balled hard. The conditions were terrible but we used them to our advantage in the 2nd half. Things to work on in training and hopefully we can play smarter and improve some decision making. That should ensure the team keeps winning.”

Hills 2XV: Miguel Pimentez, Matt Murray, Chris Crome, Euan Harrington, David Vallance, David Paterson, Conor Duignan(C), Struan Maidment, Harry Singh, Jonny Urquhart, David Webster, Graeme Milloy, Jamie McLaren, Josh Douglas, Alex Armstrong. Subs all used Darryl Elvin, Fionn Whyte, Jonathan McCook, Toby Joshua

Pictures by Hamish Adamson
Report by Bernie Mitchell

Hilljills and Mini-Hilljills in Action

Hills ladies and junior girls (U18s and U15s) were all in action yesterday, Sunday 5th March.

Hills ladies played Murrayfield Wanderers at home to record a 63-10 win in the semi final of the Premier Development Cup. Player of the match was Kirsty Reid with two tries whilst other Hills scorers were Hannah Smith (4), Mairi McDonald (3), Aimee Watson (1), Hannah Telling (1) and Ally Cook with the conversions.

Hills play the winner of Ayr and Stewartry in the Final which is scheduled for the 19th March.
The game was pictured by Fiona, you will find more of her very good shots here.

Hills squad: Siobhan McMillan, Stella Kyalikunda, Fiona Reardon, Kirsty Openshaw, Jenny Johnston, Kirsty McConnell, Kirsty Reid, Hannah Telling, Sarah Smith, Ally Cook, Lizzie Willis, Hannah Smith, Kirstin Daly, Aimee Watson, Mairi McDonald, Debbie Falconer, Georgie Keys, AnnMarie Franz, Caitlyn Haldane.

Meanwhile at Bridgehaugh, Hills under 18s lost to Stirling County 40-12 in the West League whilst the under 15s played a friendly. Judging by the smiles and the mud, a good day of rugby was had by all!


Featured picture by Lesley Robertson
Above Pictures by Fiona and Jade
Report by Heather

Hills Quiz Night – 17th September

Annual HJRFC Quiz Night.

The 17th September is definitely a Saturday to look forward to at Hughenden, and one to remember: Our mighty Ladies Section celebrates its 21st birthday; Our men 1XV & 2XV welcome Kirkcaldy 1XV and Marr 2XV (KO 3pm), and toping up that brilliant program the Hills propose an evening of brainy entertainment!

Master of ceremony: Dougie Grove + Special Guests

Teams of 4, £10 per Team, 19:30 start